If you could possess one superpower, what would it be?

From Spock in Star Trek to David Banner in the Hulk, the TV was full of heroes with superpowers. As a 7 year old your personal superpower choice may have been immortality, invisibility, the ability to fly, reading other people’s thoughts or seeing into the future.

I never dreamed as a kid that one day I too could truly own a Superpower, but now I’m in my 50’s, I have found I do. Like Clarke Kent, most of the time you would never guess the incredible power that lurks deep down within me. I go about each day helping our clients plan for the future. I am after all just an everyday Financial Planner, armed only with decades of experience and a wall full of qualifications. I appear very similar to the better individuals within my peer group of Chartered Financial Planners. Together we don’t just help in the fight against financial crime; we simply help individuals and families to use their financial resources to the max and to enjoy their lives to the full. We help them to find investment products like ISAs and Pensions, that will save them tax and hopefully create further wealth in the future. I love my day job and will never give it up.

But 3 or 4 times a year it’s time to take off the disguise which prevent others from discovering who I really am. I whip down Chorley Street, find a telephone box and I tear open my jacket to reveal my true power. It’s fairly uncomfortable wearing those blue tights under my suit every day. But who knows when world events may force me to drop my trousers.

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.


My superpower is “The Power of Discretion”. It was bestowed upon me in 2012 by the all powerful Lords of the Financial Conduct Authority. With the immortal words,

Well done Howard you are worthy. Now go forth from this day on and rebalance your clients managed portfolios whenever you feel the need. Happy in the knowledge we no longer require you to obtain a signed form from each of them individually.

It might not sound like much of a superpower to you. But it has shifted the way we manage our clients investments into warp drive. There are a few more of us out there among you. Not many of us walk the streets of the U.K., 98% of Financial Planners are powerless.

Unfortunately I still can’t leap large buildings in a single bound. In fact I can’t leap any. But I can move up to £55 million at the touch of a button. A button that could avert a disaster for the 187 families, companies and trusts that rely upon me daily. It’s also the same button that has allowed me to create a handsome return for those same families, companies and trusts.

Dark Forces

There are others out there with the same discretionary powers. They are large organisations in the main that we believe are controlled by dark greedy forces. Each and every day they use their discretionary powers to churn the investments of their un-suspecting victims. Each time they flex their superpower muscles the bells on their tills do ding. They use their powers not to try to help their clients, but to help themselves instead to copious switch commissions. They kill their prey by 1000 paper cuts.

Save The Planet

I never charge when I flex my superpower muscles and vision. I love helping individuals with their lifetime plans. Obtaining a better return by flexing my superpower 3 or 4 times a year is simply efficient and convenient. I’m saving the planet too. Without this superpower I would be forced to create 500 to 600 additional reports a year. Imagine all those trees still left standing over my full career. I’m sure I’m doing more to help the planet than VW.

7 Replies to “Super”

  1. From an artist’s perspective, you paint a brilliant picture of your ’cause and effect’ powers Howard. The vibrancy of your metaphorical thinking, based on your childhood fantasies converts positively into helping your clients understand, what is a really difficult abstract concept to get your head around. I for one, just couldn’t understand what and why you do the things you do without these amusing illustrations, so keep those stories coming.
    Thank you

    1. Hi Audrey

      Thank you for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate feedback. It really encourages me to continue to try harder to explain the dull world of investments and pensions.


  2. Howard. Great imagination! Time for you to book a slower form of transport to the, (what used to be) “Theatre of dreams”. With me and Mr Crosbie. Let yourself go fella. You deserve it. Pete and Janet

    1. Hi Pete

      It’s really not work because I enjoy it. I will definitely join you on Eamon’s barge for a game. Let’s see off PSV and see who we draw in the next stage.


  3. Howard,
    More power to your writing elbow I may not have the eloquent words of our other writers but like them I greatly appreciate all both you and your staff do in the background with my funds

    Keep it strong
    Disappointed Bolton fan


    1. Gratitude is the least expressed of all the virtues so I take this opportunity of thanking you, and your team, for all your help over the last few years. Prior to placing my hard earned savings in your hands my pension arrangements/financial planning were a complete mystery to me having taken out numerous pension policies and other forms of savings since the inception of my career. You were able to investigate my chaotic affairs put them into some semblance of order and advice me of the way forward so once again a huge thanks to show my appreciation.
      Perhaps you
      could do the same for BWFC but is that a bridge too far even for Superman??

  4. You don’t hear from me very often but I enjoyed reading that a lot. I sometimes feel that my work emails get sucked into a dark abyss, so thought you’d like it confirming that, just sometimes, they do get read!

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